blond jokes

i am not taking the mick just found these on the web



A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!



There were these three women who escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding". The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, "MEEEYYOWW!" the officer said "Oh, its just a stupid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, "RUUFFF RUFFF!", so the officer says, "Oh, it's just a stupid dog!" Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, "POTATOES!"

This is not a blond joke but it is about dogs.


These are the answers from dogs when asked "How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we´ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you´re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And I´ll replace any wiring that´s not up to code.

Dachshund: I can´t reach the stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle: I´ll just blow in the Border collie´s ear and he´ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Shih Tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

Labrador Retriever: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Alaskan Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he´s busy.

English Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it´s dark, I´m going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I´ve got a hangover.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn´t moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheepdog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?